Today marks the first day in a new journey! I am taking a dance composition class called “Dance & New Media.” In it I’m required to blog about my journey and the creative process that I undergo during said journey. This is a wonderful idea for me because I have been wanting a reason to re-establish this blog. Onward and upward. Check back for more as it comes.
Soooo. i had two classes with holly since being here in L.A. The first was a master class that i joined in on. The level of the class was mixed so i felt comfortable. (no biggie and a slight confidence booster) however, the second class was to be at LMU (holly’s Alma mater) This wouldn’t usually be a problem for me. but, i was super sore from the first class two days before. ( proving I’m out of shape!) Also, i remembered that college students 3 months into their fall classes usually have a pretty good retention for movement. I only hoped that i could keep up. As i pondered my fate hours before my trek across town to LMU, i realized that my worries had been in vain. I was in possession of something that all dancers know can make or break a class regardless of technique. Attire! if you feel comfortable in what your wearing in class, you can achieve performance quality in the simplest of movements. I had in my wardrobe a pair of pants who’s origin was rooted in many years of learning and understanding movement. they had been hand made by a dancer for a dancer. they were super pants. and i owned two such jewels. Once i dawned the newly made pair (the others were dirty) all my fears melted away. I know it sounds mythical or even like a fairy tale. but, i promise as true as i am writing that those pants made me have confidence in my “look” which in turn transferred to my confidence in movement. So is it silly that a simple pair of pants can exude confidence? i think not!
ok, so i told my parent……….and the world has yet to come to an end. According to my cuz the fidalgo’s have a way of feeling the world will end without us. however, there are other shoulders to bare the load. So im suoer excited to take this huge step and at the same time i have so many reservations. grandma and grandpa are one big con to leaving. however, melissa is my rock and she is coming with me, so that will help. i dont’t know what i would be without her support. emotionally i know i wouldn’t be able to do it alone. weak……maybe……but i have always had a weak spot for the family. however, i feel like i have to do this or face a regret that i may never be able to overcome.
Well Shit! ok i auditioned aug 10th for holly johnson’s company on aug 10th the day before our last day in L.A. Both melissa and i didn’t hear anything from holly. Even though after the audition holly told me she wanted to put me on her short list i didn’t hear anything from her. We came home and got back to life as usual. i wasn’t really happy about the fact that i didn’t hear anything, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. I just felt like i was meant for more than working in the office at Brian’s On-site Recycling Inc. (even though it was my office and i ran it how i saw fit) Well no sooner than i was talking about not getting picked and Holly called. “i would like to invite you to join my company,” i was still thinking about seeing her name on my caller ID. well i think this could be an amazing journey for me. i think i have been waiting for something ( anything) to compel me to leave and find my own way. The problem is what i feel for my family. i feel indebted to them. i feel like it is my responsibility as a Fidalgo to take care of my people. however that may mean i have to give up that which i love most. ” Dance!” ohh the thoughts i have! i need to find some way to figure things out. It doesn’t help that melissa says she won’t come unless she has a stable job. Also the subbie needs to be traded in, but the car i “Want” to replace it is gonna cost me another $150 in payments and another $150 in insurance. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! hope i can figure it out by my birthday!
So we got a few updates today. first of all i am extremely excited by the fact that i have a new website to do with as i please. also the fact that Brian’s on-site recycling’s website is up and running on my accord is totally awesome. i have been writing list’s like normal. however, i haven’t been so negative with myself about what order or time i complete them in. this has proved to be useful in allowing me the freedom to wander from task to task, but the structure to have goals and get them accomplished…..i….am…..TIRED. sleep now. more later
here we are. nearly 12 years after the first installation of “Hotdog Pro” (google it!) i have finally setup my own web page. talk about a.d.d.! Anyways, this will be a new form of expression for me. writing that is! i am going to attempt to push myself further and harder then i ever have in my life. it’s that time. however, i am keenly aware that this will put a bigger strain on my emotions and simple minded ways. i will use writing as a way to throttle emotions and energy away from where it is not useful.